{"id":1750,"date":"2018-10-01T12:31:12","date_gmt":"2018-10-01T19:31:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/?p=1750"},"modified":"2018-10-01T21:36:10","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T04:36:10","slug":"am-i-going-to-die","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/2018\/10\/01\/1750","title":{"rendered":"Am I Going to Die"},"content":{"rendered":"

No. Well, yes. I mean, one day, sure–just probably not today.<\/p>\n

It is that time of the month again. I could be out going for a walk or hanging with friends, or, I don’t know, saving the world maybe. You don’t know. The point is, I’m not. And why am I not? Because Aunt Flo is a dick. For the first few days I just sit in my chair or lay in my bed, shaking in pain, able to do little else. Make my own food? Pfft, not likely. Nope, I’m just literally going to sit here like a lump, and gripe about the pain I’m in.<\/p>\n

Here, I drew you a picture. I’m not sure why I drew it in Paint. I think I’ve been reading too much Hyperbole and a Half (Allie if you’re reading this, you can never read too much Hyperbole and a Half).<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

In hindsight\/restrospect? (one of those words is likely the right one) I probably shouldn’t have used red. I was just trying to indicate the horror of it all. I could have used blue but blue isn’t very horrific.<\/p>\n

On the pain chart, it tends to alternate between a 7 and a 9, where 7 is a comfort given that 9 is not. Seven feels like someone is punching me from inside my own body. Eight is my own guts and intestines being scooped out with a rusty sickle. Nine is being stabbed with a knife repeatedly in the guts. Ten, ten is crippling. Ten is rolling back and forth and crying “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?”<\/p>\n

Aside from the varying degrees of pain comes the heightened emotions. I was already a sensitive person, but when I’m like this, it’s emotions times 100. Just heard a slightly sad thing? We should cry about it. Something good happens? WE ARE ELATED. Something annoying? BE MAD. SUPER MAD. Movies and tv shows are an emotional roller coaster.<\/p>\n

Then there’s the eating. I was trying to take better care of myself before this. I downloaded an app that would tell me how many calories everything was, and warn me if I was going overboard with my sugars or carbs. I wasn’t doing a terrible job, either. Substitute soda with coffee. Avoid the junk foods. Things in moderation. But that was then. This is now.<\/p>\n

I can never tell if I’m hungry or full when I’m like this, so I default to, “I could eat.” And eat I do. Any candy I was saving for later, or had around just so I wouldn’t feel the urge to go buy more, is suddenly in danger of being eaten. Chocolate is not safe from me. For some reason, I could really go for some salty french fries. It’s becoming overwhelming.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

If you’re reading this, roommate, I’m in desperate need of salty french fries. From that one place. You know the one. Please take pity and send me all the bad foods. I’ll pay you back. Also I need pads.<\/font><\/p>\n

Or at least lock me away in a padded place where I can’t hurt anyone to get what I want. I promise I’ll be a better person again next week.<\/p>\n

Update: My roommate got me fries! It was sheer ecstacy. Thank you, roomie!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No. Well, yes. I mean, one day, sure–just probably not today. It is that time of the month again. I could be out going for a walk or hanging with friends, or, I don’t know, saving the world maybe. You don’t know. The point is, I’m not. And why am I not? Because Aunt Flo […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1750","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-default"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1750","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1750"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1750\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2085,"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1750\/revisions\/2085"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1750"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1750"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.twilightrealm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1750"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}